How will you know which are of life needs the most self-love and attention? Ask yourself where are you spending the most time, money, and energy and does that decision – whether conscious or not – feel good to you? If not there is an opportunity to change, there is always room for more self-love and self-care. As part of your self-love practice I want you to choose ONE area to build further or reboot completely. The areas of your life where there are gaps, deficiencies, abundance, and overflow will be so evident it may make you anxious, excited, or sick to your stomach, but don’t panic! Wherever you start there’s always room for growth and expansion. Once you clean out your physical, mental, and spiritual closets you will see your life exactly as it is. Last week I asked you to kickoff your self-love practices by saying farewell to some people, things, and thoughts that no longer serve you and the life you're creating now. Her latest book Sing While You’re Single offers advice to women who want to remain single for the time being while still maintaining their belief in the power and possibility of love.Our first theme of 2014 is all about LOVE and of course it begins with love of self. Lynn Gilliard is the author of a popular relationship guide entitled Let Him Chase YOU. Relationships don’t have to be hard - it could all be so simple. So stop stressing, stop fighting and stop holding onto stuff from the past. This goes for romantic unions as well as relationships with friends and family members. I learned that everything doesn’t always go according to a perfect rule book - sometimes you have to just relax and follow your intuition. I finally learned that I had to relinquish the need to control every little thing and let things happen as they will. When we hold on tightly to resentments and past experiences, it holds us back from attracting the right people into our lives. I am willing to release a situation without getting upset or feeling slighted and I don’t drag my issues from one dating experience into another. I can relate to men better because I seek to understand them, just as I would expect from them, instead of judging them.Īnd I now fully subscribe to the idea that if it’s meant to be, IT WILL BE. I no longer have a problem getting dates from quality men and having fun experiences with them. I don’t see the point in worrying or stressing about men and relationships, so it all just comes so easily and naturally to me. Now I am so much more relaxed about dating. I think that a lot of my control issues relating to men stemmed from bad experiences with guys in the past or fear of looking like a fool - I guess to the people around me especially my friends and family. I was so sensitive to any minor slight! It was all about control (or fear of not having any). In my book Survive, Live or Thrive?I tell the story of a guy who jokingly mentioned that I had a “little mustache” on a date so I never called him again. Never mind that he might be tied up at work or otherwise distracted. For instance, if a guy didn’t respond to my texts right away I’d write him off immediately. If the guy did one thing I didn’t like, I would just end contact immediately. I used to be so particular and structured about how my relationship or dating experience would go. The therapist told her to repeat the following line over and over: Relax, Relate, Release! Whitley was wound up over something and struggling for control. In it, the main character Whitley Gilbert (played by actress Jasmine Guy) was in a counseling session with a therapist played by actress Debbie Allen. There was a classic scene in one of my favorite television shows from the 90s called It’s a Different World.
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